Maggies Hair Pulling Blog

So the magazine article came out! It was my story but written by a lady called Dawn who is a freelance writer, it didn't go on the web so I have scanned a picture of it! Hopefully it is readable if you can zoom in. A few people I know have read it and I had one message via Facebook from an old school friend who stumbled across it! Feedback has been positive from friends and no one from work has read it which is great. I didn't want them to see it as they don't know I wear a volumiser . One thing I found rather strange was that my parents read it but apart from saying that they had read it, they didn't discuss it any further. They haven't made any comments at all! :/ I expect they discussed it between themselves but I don't know what they think about anything that was written. Never mind though. The main aim of me doing this was to help raise awareness and so hopefully someone out there will have benefited from it. Another positive is that a lady from a hair cl...

I had a hair makeover at the weekend, new volumiser colour and extensions! I now have long hair again :) I couldn't decide whether to go blonde or dark but the salon lady helped me decide and I opted for dark! I was nervous about going in to work but actually got a really positive response and just told people that I had had hair extensions! My article has also been out for a few weeks now and no one at work has seen it which is great! I didn't want any questions from them. My friends have seen it and they all think it's good which i'm pleased about too. Overall a positive few days. I am also going to try again with my pulling urges. Motivation comes and goes but at the moment I am feeling positive! :)

Hair picture from July 2010 taken in the bathroom. I have decided to take some more pictures, they help keep me focused and remind me of what my hair is really like :/ This picture was taken when my volumiser was due for a tighten, I lifted it up so I could take a picture of my hair underneath. Compared to how it has been it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't good enough to leave it uncovered! I might start a picture book as well, follow my progress! At the moment I can't imagine having a full head of hair but maybe one day!

My hair story has been published! November's 2010 issue of Psychologies Magazine. It's weird seeing myself in a magazine! :) I have told a few people but I'm not going to advertise it too much as there are still people who don't know I have trich! My main concern is always work people. I guess I'm worried that they will think I'm weird!

I have had a bad few days of pulling, the volumiser is annoying me and I want it gone!! It can't be taken off though :( My hair is still thin at the sides and I have recently pulled from there! Luckily I have left the front and top alone though because I really need that to grow! Decided to keep a hair diary in my bag and to put gloves in the car again, it's too easy to slip up in the car and if I feel like pulling I will use the diary to scribble in instead. I haven't pulled any so far today which is a positive start, I will forget about the last few days and start from now!!

I'm having a fairly normal week, busy at work, pottering about at home..... Trying to get the house properly tidy so that I can concentrate on more creative things! I don't think I've pulled many hairs today, maybe a couple at my desk but nothing significant. I wish every day was like this! It's been quite bad lately when I've been tired, I can't seem to resist touching when I'm sleepy. Odd. A friend of mine has recently become an NLP practioner and so tomorrow eve we have a telephone call booked to try out a few excercises! The idea is to reach your subconcious and it's good for me to keep trying these things :)

I haven't updated for a while as I have been a busy bee! A few hair related things I have been discussing and have found........... 1. A video on Youtube by a teenager called Rebecca Brown. She has trichotillomania and it demonstrates how frustrating the problem can be. Have a watch as she has done it really well! When I was her age there was no way I would have discussed it, I tried to keep it all a secret and so she is brave to have gone on the internet like this, click on the link below to watch: Video by Rebecca Brown 2. Hair transplants! A friend of mine that I met on a forum has now been pull free for about 2 years, she doesn't really know how she stopped but she has done amazingly! Because she has left her hair alone for some time she is now investigating hair transplants to cover a thin bit at the back that wont grow. It is basically a surgical technique which involves moving skin containing hair follicles from one part of the body to another. I didn't really believ...

Unfortunately my hair article is now being moved to November's Psychologies Magazine issue. The pictures were taken on a rainy day and apparently look quite wintry, they also have to jiggle articles around depending on themes etc. It doesn't really matter though.... There was recently an article in The Sun newspaper which is good, I know it has a wide distribution and so any public awareness is good! If you Google Trichotillomania and The Sun you will find it :) My hair pulling is still going on although weight gain is currently my biggest issue! Size 12 is getting tight! I know that the gym and less chocolate is the key, however the key is a bit rusty!! I also rather like wine! Worrying about things like this of course makes my hair pulling worse!!! The front is still thin, this whole hair business never seems to end! But the wekend is coming and that is always a positive :)

If the publishers have sorted it all out, then my hair article should be in next months Psychologies Magazine! I've just got my fingers crossed that work people don't see because I work with a bunch of developers and they might take the micky! :/ They also might not, but still! I had my volumiser tightened on Saturday, nearly a week ago now and next time I'm having more blond put in to it. Slowly changing colour! My hair isn't great at the moment but it's still growing because I can see the dark roots from when I had my own hair dyed a few months ago. Just need to leave alone..... I now have a busy weekend ahead! Train journey to London tomorrow and then off to a masked ball! :)

I still don't know why I can't stop pulling my hair out. I know it's wrong, I know that it might not grow back and still I pull. It's better than it used to be but I just want to stop!!! Sometimes I look in the mirror and find hairs to pull, knowing full well that I shouldn't. The hair at the front of my head is so thin! I can't imagine it growing back properly now. I still wear a volumiser and probably will for quite a while, at least that makes me look normal!! :( Although the hair situation always haunts me and is always there, I do mainly just get on with it! Next week i'm away in Greece and so hopefully I will be able to relax and focus on leaving well alone!! The sunshine will also be rather nice :)

I had my suspicions that someone I had recently met also had trich and now I know that she does! She has spiky hair on the sides and top of her head which is quite a good sign! I was out with her on Friday evening and mentioned that I pulled my hair and that I wear a volumiser . She then admitted that she did too! I had drunk quite a lot which made it easier to talk but I think I'm glad I did. She said that she just thought she was some kind of freak, she had no idea it had a name or was a medical condition! Hopefully she will now Google the subject and won't feel so odd. Like me she said that she has kept the problem secret for years and was worried what other people might think. It is interesting to now know someone else with this problem, I said that she is welcome to talk to be any time.

Every year there is a pic nic called tric nic. The one I have heard about is held in Regents Park in London. This year it on the 19th June. The lady who organises it ties a purple ribbon around 2 deck chairs so that you can identify the group, you can then just join in! I haven't been to one before but the general idea is to just meet up and mingle. I don't think it attracts a big crowd but it's still nice to know that there are other people out there that you can talk too face to face. I might try and go this year, I wonder what we will all talk about............ :) I have also discovered a good website this week: http://www.trichotillomania.co.uk Lots of registered users and forums to chat in. Although it's hard I must stay focused on trying to stop!

Click below to read an interesting case study on trichotillomania , it is all so similar!!! Case study It calls it an OC Spectrum Disorder, I haven't heard that term before but it can be summarised as: 'People with OC Spectrum Disorders find it impossible to resist urges to behave in a way that they know is ultimately harmful, either to themselves or others.' This is definitely true of my hair pulling, it is impossible to resist long term. Some days are good but overall I haven't stopped yet, and it has been going on for over 20 years!!! :(

Today I had a photographer and make up artist come to my house to do a photo shoot for a magazine - once it's published I will post a link. The article will be all about my hair pulling!! It's quite scary to know that everyone will know about my problem, but at the same time I think it's important to raise awareness, when I was younger there was no information at all. I don't mind my friends seeing it, but I know that I will be quite anxious and will have fingers crossed that work colleagues don't see it. There is something uncomfortable about office gossip........ If people do see it then it wont be the end of the world. I also hope that it doesn't embarrass my boyfriend or family, I'm sure it wont but I didn't really think about that part when I said yes. Overall I am glad I am doing it, it's still a bit scary though! :) This weekend I have a long drive up north to visit a friend and so I will make sure I wear gloves. I don't want to slip up ...

On Saturday I went for a hair re- alignment . I have been going to Hair Solved in Manchester for nearly a year now and it was time to have the mop taken off. They take it off, scrub your head and then put it back on again. I decided to have it longer and lighter in colour this time as well. My appointment was at 10am so I had to get up at 6am!! I arrived in time and then didn't leave until 7pm. Long day but I had 3 hair washes which was lovely! They massage your head and it feels soooo nice :) I had my own hair dyed which is why it took ages. I was hoping to get out in time to go to the chocolate shop next door but never mind........... It only took a few minutes to take the volumiser off but then it took a few hours to re-connect it all back on. Unfortunately I had to have the net extended at the sides because they were thin and needed covering up :( I will now leave it well alone and let it grow underneath! Spring is coming, I will let me hair grow like the plants!!

I have just had a telephone conversation with a lady who is making a documentary about Trich (she calls it TTM). She is working closely with Lucinda Ellery and I emailed her to let her know that I would be happy to speak to her over the phone about the condition. I wanted her to know that there are other salons out there. My worry is that people will think that Lucinda's is the only option when it isn't. The trouble with her place is the cost :( She is going to call again on Wednesday as it was only a brief chat today. She wanted to know what treatments I had tried, how old I was etc. the usual stuff! It's odd that I don't mind talking about it now, I used to be so scared!! I still need to make my plan for the year! Next weekend I am having the volumiser off and re-alligned. I hate it because I get to see how thin my real hair is!! :/

I have been trying to network and meet new people and yesterday I think I saw someone else with trich . I have joined a website for people who want to meet other people in real life! The idea is that you organise events amongst yourselves and yesterday I organised afternoon tea. One of the ladies who came along had dark hair which was long at the front but short and spiky on top, at first i didn't notice but she kept playing with it so it caught my attention. I obviously didn't mention it over the table but if i see her again I might do, not sure how though because I know people with trich are very shy! From my own experience I know that hair is the most touchy subject in the world if you have a problem with it and so I tread carefully!

It's nearly Feb and I haven't made a 2010 hair plan yet! I'm still pulling my hair out every day and I can't stop, the sides and front are quite bad at the moment :( I had my volumiser tightened on saturday which was good and then in 5 weeks time I will have it all taken off and re-allinged. I think they will need to extend the net a bit because the sides need more cover. I'm so bored of having this hair prolem now, I just wish there was a cure!!! Maybe I should splint my arms straight!

Just washed my hair and now I will try really hard not to touch it!! Went out last night so I have a slight hangover today, lazing on the sofa now!! :) I haven't planned how I will try and beat tric this year but I will have a think about it and then write it down. Time to watch Eastenders now! The wedding day!