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7 years later

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Wow! 7 years have gone by and I forgot all about this blog. I logged in with the intention of deleting it but actually I think I’ll write something instead... My mum died nearly 5 years ago and her cancer diagnosis, illness and death were the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. It was like a whirlwind of emotion and really painful at times. Mum became our focus and centre of life and we did everything we could to care for her mentally and physically. I feel like I can breath again now though.... life is normal... ish.  I had a baby! She’s 3 and is a little miracle. Born with just one lung and other complications she amazes us everyday with how well she is. She doesn’t take any medication and can do everything that any other child can do. I still have trichotillomania. I carried on wearing hair systems for a number of years and then in 2019 I decided to shave my hair and embraced the bald look. I had scalp micropigmentation (SMP) done to give me a buzz cut look, bought some woolly hat

Changed Priorities

My Trichotillomania has now taken a major back seat! I still pull everyday and wear a permanent wig to cover up the bald patches. It's annoying to live with a hair hat 'thing' fixed to my head all the time and it gets itchy but I'm used to it so it has become normal. I can't imagine not wearing a wig now. My hair follicles have been permanently damaged by all the years of pulling so the hope of growing a full head of hair now is pretty slim. But I think I have accepted that and now trich doesn't really bother me. I used to get upset about it and frustrated but now I think there are more important things to worry about and l can still enjoy life without proper hair!! Some people have it a lot worse so out of all of the problems you can have as a human, I think hair pulling is a pretty mild one to have been dealt. Found out my mum as incurable cancer recently - this is a real problem. I would pull my arms and legs off, as well as all my hair out to fix her.

Potential media attention for Trich

I was contacted by a media company recently who write articles for newspapers, magazines etc. they were interested in my trichotillomania story. I've done one magazine article before and thought I wanted to do more but in the back of my mind I can see people from work reading it so I declined! I'm slightly annoyed with myself as there should be more awareness of the condition, but at the same time I manage a team of people and don't want this to look like a weakness! The office environment can be rather tough and people love a bit of gossip!! When I retire in about 40 years then I might reconsider.... 

Hair update

Since using twitter I haven't posted many updates. Twitter is quick and easily accessible from my mobile! My hair is still shit, the sides and front are bald. I'm now using tape at the front of my volumiser in an attempt to let it recover a bit. The connections used to pull my hair out and there was hardly any there anyway! I used to use Fullmore on the sides which helped but I have recently joined a hot yoga class and you sweat like a beast!! The dye in Fullmore would drip everywhere and I would get in a right state :/ I have no idea how to stop pulling my hair out. I have tried so many things!! I'm not pulling my hair right this second and so I know that I don't need to, or feel like doing it every second of the day! I just need to figure out the secret to the non-pulling state and keep it all day..... This is a bit weird but I sometimes think that if I broke my arms and couldn't touch my hair for several weeks then maybe that would break the spell! But I have n

Fullmore

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I have recently been using Fullmore on my head under the volumiser to stop me from pulling my hair. After a few weeks some of the connections fall out that secure my volumiser in place and so I can get to the sides of my head! Fullmore is a coloured hairspray and before I had the volumiser fitted I used to use it to hide the bald patches on the side of my head. It stops people from being able to see your scalp. It is only temporary and washes out with water and if you touch it you get it all over your fingers! This is what helps put me off touching!! You can't really go around with brown stuff all over your hands!! :)

Twitter & Hair Appointments

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I have been using twitter for a few weeks to connect with other trich suffers and so far it has been quite good. I have been speaking to people from all over the World. There aren't many people who tweet about trich, I have only found about 20 which isn't many considering how many people use twitter! It passes a few minutes here and there and if I'm tweeting then I'm not touching my hair! :) With regards to trying to improve my hair I'm still using a volumiser to cover my own hair and I still go for appointments at Hair Solved every few weeks to have it tightened. This picture is of me the last time I went. They pull my own hair through a net and then clip it in place with little metal grips. All of the red colour is my pretend hair, it's real human hair but not actually mine! I do sometimes wander who is belonged to originally....... I enjoy going to the salon and its good that I can change the length and colour at any time too. I don't have to wait for

Confused.com

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I was driving in to town today and saw a confused.com advert on the back of a bus. The main reason I noticed it was because it had a large logo of a cartoon character pulling at their hair. I know there is saying about wanting to tear your hair out but I guess most people have no idea that people actually do this. I'm not sure if people also tear their out out in a frenzy, I guess maybe they do. When you have trichotillomania you pull your hairs out one by one and so not quite in the same way that the confused.com person is doing it! This logo actually bothers me quite a bit, its a reminder of my problem and the character also has crossed eyes as if it is crazy as well. I know their are worse problems its just sad to be reminded of it everywhere you go, and you can't really escape advertising when it is everywhere around us!